I'm 16, and dammit, i feel like i'm carrying the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders. I live in one of the worst hoods in the US, and it's just a struggle everyday to try and survive. Never knew my dad, my mom was a drug addict and beat me as a little boy, then i got kicked out of the house at 12 and i've just been staying at friends houses for the past 4 years. the last thing my mom said to me was, "i wish i had a fucking abortion." and i swear those words still hurt. my big brother, who was really all i had, and who i loved with all my heart was shot and killed when i was 8 and i saw it happen. my best friend just was killed a week ago and i feel like it's my fault because he was with me and i was the target, not him. i got hit by one bullet in the shoulder, but i should have been the one who died. and honestly i've done some really fucked up shit in my life, all gang related, but it's stuff i've had to do to try and get by and survive, but i still feel fucking worthless. i honestly have no one left. i should be dead. i'm really shy, bad in social situations and all i've got left is boxing and i feel like i just fucked up my relationship with my coach, and i'm really ready to give up. as a little kid i thought i could get over any obstacle, that i couldn't be defeated, that i was going to be a professional boxer and that one day my mom would see that i was worth something, but i feel like i'm just in too deep now. because honestly, what the fuck is my life worth? i'm a piece of shit. and why the fuck has no one ever cared about me? why does no one care about kids in the hood? all i wanted was a chance to grow up. shoot me please.
from anonymous visitor